A grown-ass woman.

This is a quick post for those of us on an intuitive life path; who follow our inner compass, come what may.

My Facebook profile pic this year is the words ‘grown-ass woman’ – which I created to celebrate this painfully hard earned phase of adult life I have entered. So naturally I got excited when I stumbled across this video on youtube yesterday 🙂 Titled ‘How to be a Grown Ass Woman’, it is a WNYC panel of four public figures discussing the major moments of transition in their lives – when they knew they had each gone from (mousy) young lady to grown-ass woman.

I freaked out when I read the description and noticed comedian Sara Schaefer (whose twitter presence I enjoy) and The Daily Show’s Jessica Williams (who I am truly infatuated with) were both on the panel. I related to Jessica’s story, about having to be tough and doing what needs to be done to protect others and ourselves.

But it was Katja Blichfeld, co-creator of web series (and TV show) ‘High Maintenance’ (which friends have raved about but I still haven’t watched) whose ‘transition’ story resonated with me the most… completely, actually. She essentially articulated why I feel like a grown-ass woman today.

Katja tells her tale from 23:39 to 29:54. The quote below is the heart of it, though – what made her realise she was already a ‘grown-ass woman’. 

When deciding to turn down solid career opportunities to pursue a “side weekend project” she had little experience in (High Maintenance) she looked back at her other life experiences and noticed something: that despite the constant objections and judgments of multiple people in her life about Katja letting her inner compass direct her choices (rather than just going with the stable salary, the rational path) Katja had done so anyway – and discovered her intuition was a BOSS:

“I started surveying my life before that, and thinking about just how I had ended up where I was. And it was a series of decisions based on gut intuition, over and over again. 

A lot of those decisions, I realised, were similar, in that they did not make a whole lot of sense on the page, and I realised ‘Oh, I’ve kind of lived my whole life in defense mode, having to explain myself or why I am doing these things that don’t make a lot of sense, but I feel the pull towards doing these things’. 

I kind of just had a realisation, like, ‘Oh, I have wisdom! I’ve collected some wisdom and I’m in my thirties and I know some things, and I can look back over my life and see how me following my intuition has yielded these incredible results, time and time again, even when those said decisions didn’t make a lot of sense in the moment. 

And I think that’s kind of when I felt like ‘I’m a grown woman’, because I can sort of look and see that I’ve accumulated these experiences and that they’ve yielded wisdom and that this wisdom is worth listening to, and my intuition is worthwhile and worth listening to… and I’m just going to trust in that and do it. 

And I did, and obviously it’s worked out pretty great… that was my growing up moment, realising I have wisdom, that I know what’s best for me, and other people don’t know what’s best for me. 

And that’s that.”


I will keep listening to my BOSS. My day-to-day mind may be hopeless, nervous, sometimes unsure of itself… but the Boss knows what’s good.


You can check out the full easygoing panel discussion right here. NY Magazine writer Heather Hasvrilesky is the fourth woman. This is what she said about being in her forties:  “I’m the happiest I’ve been, for sure. but I’m still insane.”


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